9 Ways to Normal Update

The initial draft was finished, and I sent it out to a couple of beta readers. The feedback has been mostly positive, so I am going through another edit with some of their commentary. There was minimal critique on grammar and word choice, so this edit is mostly about story and character portrayals. Here’s an excerpt from a song that I see as being a part of the inspiration for the novella.

Which seems right in a way

But I’m trying to say.

I’m not sure but I wonder if inside my head

I’m not just a bit different than some of my friends.

These answers that come into my mind unbidden!

These stories delivered to me fully written!

And when everyone shouts like they seem to like shouting,

The noise in my head is incredibly loud!

And I just wish they’d stop

My Dad and my Mum and the telly

And stories would stop for just once!

And I’m sorry, I’m not quite explaining it right!

But this noise becomes anger, and the anger is light!

And this burning inside me which usually fades!

But it isn’t today!

And the heat and the shouting!

And my heart is pounding!

And my eyes are burning!

And suddenly everything, everything is…!

Quiet…”

Hope you enjoy it! It’s called “Quiet” from the Broadway production of Matilda the Musical. It makes me think of my own mania. You can find it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDVaa3z8jHw

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Smell the Color 9

“I would take ‘no’ for an answer
Just to know I heard you speak.
And I’m wondering why I’ve never
Seen the signs they claim they see.
Are the special revelations
Meant for everybody but me?
Maybe I don’t truly know you,
Or maybe I just simply believe:

I can sniff, I can see, and I can count up pretty high,
But these faculties aren’t getting me any closer to the sky.
But my heart of faith keeps pounding so I know I’m doing fine,
But sometimes finding you is just like trying to smell the color 9. Smell the color 9.

Now I’ve never felt the presence, but I know you’re always near.
And I’ve never heard the calling, but somehow you’ve led me right here.
So I’m not looking for burning bushes, or some divine graffiti to appear.
I’m just begging you for your wisdom, and I believe you’re putting some here.

I can sniff, I can see, and I can count up pretty high,
But these faculties aren’t getting me any closer to the sky.
But my heart of faith keeps pounding so I know I’m doing fine,
But sometimes finding you is just like trying to smell the color 9.

I can sniff, I can see, and I can count up pretty high,
But these faculties aren’t getting me any closer to the sky.
But my heart of faith keeps pounding so I know I’m doing fine,
But sometimes finding you is just like trying to

I can sniff, I can see, and I can count up pretty high,
But these faculties aren’t getting me any closer to the sky.
But my heart of faith keeps pounding so I know I’m doing fine,
But sometimes finding you is just like trying to smell the color 9.
sometimes finding you is just like trying to
sometimes finding you is just like trying to smell the color 9.

Smell the color 9. Nine’s not a color. And even if it were you can’t smell a color. That’s my point exactly.”

“Smell the Color 9” by Chris Rice.

Sometimes this is very true. I’ve never had any big experiences where I knew God was telling me something. To me, His voice is a quiet whisper, nudging me along. But I know the feeling of disappointment from not getting something. A good friend of mine gets dreams all the time, and I just get so mad. “Why don’t you talk to me like that?” I ask. The answer is simple. I’m not my friend. Books speak to me much more than dreams do. And I’m grateful, beyond anything that He talks to me, but I can’t help but wish it was different. But then again, if I was any different, my past or my personality, than I simply wouldn’t be me. And the same is true for you, too. 🙂